Contextual Analysis of "i held onto" in Lyrics

i almost fell right through

i've been wondering why

falling ain't easy with you

wish i didn't have to pretend

thorough the winter deeply rooted in the land

singing hallelujah for the man i've known

but maybe i was wrong all along

stuck on that starting line

there's nothing left for me to take for granted

nothin' came up from the seeds we planted

and i feel like i might disappear

any dream of me and you