a lazy coon's obiter dictum

o crassa ingenium

o ico coelus spectatoris

i heard a robot pronounce my last name correctly

and in what i thought was my own dream it told me to stop interjecting

for some reason i obeyed and promptly crossed the street

but first i looked both ways

caught a glimpse of a paradigm shift riding down the block on an old schwinn cycle

suddenly my id materialized on a fixed gear

at the senior wine tasting with mixed fears and a button up

and my fucking glasses keep smudging

and even in the important classes i keep fudging

got a job as the school tour guide

i'm no visitor from mars

i'm a normal guy with too many lichtenberg scars

these thick-witted blind sky watchers think they're mind's eye doctors but they're gougers

scalping tickets on the freedom trail

i just want my liberty to fail

sorry i'm a bother

a mostly constant gardener

let

let

let

let me take a dip in this lazarus pit

if i wasn't such a lazy coon then i could probably hold hands with sailor moon

if i wasn't such a lazy coon then i could probably hold hands with sailor moon

i want ra's al ghul's facial hair

in certain places i've worn spacetime threadbare

took a peek through the wormhole and saw danny brown's tongue floating

i'd call it showboating but this is the millenium falcon

i burp in coding language and surpassed being very good at holding in anguishes

poke a hole through the side vortex

to strengthen my mind's forceps

all the while the taximeter is still running

i've got clogged drains for inner monologue plumbing

my brain has too many folded wrinkles

i sat beneath the purple rain and felt the tiny sprinkles

rappers say they form like voltron

that was a children's show

i'm laser etching my name in the philosopher's stone

inhale

exhale

i think i'm nick flamel

bertrand russell

add dwayne johnson

sans the muscle

why was the man running though?

i do a dance called the know-it-all

if i wasn't such a lazy coon then i could probably hold hands with sailor moon

if i wasn't such a lazy coon then i could probably hold hands with sailor moon

get anxious and hideout

playing pokemon in the potty room

reread all this twitter spam that i too could be a very naughty groom"