perfect wife

i sat down to watch the game

my wife came in

she found my cocaine

i tore out her eyes

now she can't find my supplies or much else

oh

what a perfect wife

love of my life

she sang along to ccr

i smashed her face into the vcr

i choked her until her tongue was hanging

and then i grabbed that thing and pulled it out

oh

what a tasteless wife

love of my. don't say word my darling

i know how you feel

it's been years since i have looked at you this way

and if i've hurt you

please forgive me

love makes you do funny things

her playing the piano

sounded like a thirsty camel in a lake

i took her little fingers

as a souvenir of her playing

oh

what a talented wife

love of my life

coming home from work one day

my wife had found a way to rig the door

shotgun pointed towards me

trigger pulled and my body lying on the floor

oh

what a talented wife

and the last thing she said to me was: don't say word

my darling

i know how you feel

it's been years since i have looked at you this way

and if i've hurt you

please forgive me

love makes you do funny things