santa song

so many presents

so little time

santa won't be coming around my house this year

'cos i tried to drown my sister and i pierced my ear

oh mama made it perfectly clear

santa don't like bad boys.especially jewish ones. gnip-gnop and lego blocks are all that i desire

so why did i have to set the pizza guy's hair on fire

i told him i was sorry

i'm a liar

so no toys for me.i don't deserve them. i couldn't wait for a big wheel as the holiday neared

but then i told my grandma that she had a beard. dear santa

i know what my problem is

why i can't be good

it's a fear of intimacy. you see my whole life whenever i've met someone really great like you and

i keep feeling like i'm getting close to them

something inside me makes

me want to screw it up. so in a weird way the reason i'm so bad is because

i love you santa. rock-em sock-em robots is what i was hoping for

but then i made a death threat to vice president gore

oh santa won't be knocking on my door

'cos he's a big fat whore.what made me say that?

chutes and ladders would be so good indeed

so why'd i have to sell that cop a bag of weed

so santa please give me that easy bake oven

i swear i thought billy goats we're made for lovin'. so santa won't you accept my apologies

santa can't you see i'm begging you please

oh santa next year i'll do you right

live from new york it's saturday night.