i am the drunkest
ugliest girl at the bar
oh well i'm scheming
and i'm scheming
and i'm scheming
and i'm gonna go far
all the boys
yeah they think i'm a star
because i'm drinking
and i'm drinking
and i'm drinking
yeah i go pretty hard
i get a pinch on my ass
when i lean on the sill
and then i bent it
and i bent it
and i bent it but not to pick up the bill
my husband's at work
my baby's in a daewoo sauna
i hold my breath when i check
just to see that she isn't a goner
the little dream sits there
she's like a fly in a jar
yeah who the hell are they to tell me that i can't leave my kid in the car
i am the goddamn drunkest
ugliest girl at the bar
yeah who the hell are you to tell me that i can't leave my kid in the car
yeah who the hell are you to tell me that i can't leave my kid in the car
yeah who the hell are you to tell me that i can't leave my kid in the car
i am the dumbest
richest guy at the bar
yeah
well i'd take you for a ride but my girl took the keys to my car
i made a deal over lunch baby
yeah it was worth 15k
i show my teeth when i smile in a real matter-of-fact way
i make so much money
i swear i never get any older
and i don't talk to my brother cause that prick's got a chip on his shoulder
oh yeah i'm feelin real good
how much for one of those cigars?
i want to breathe like a dragon baby
i cough up burning hot tar
hey look
i'm cold outta cash
just put it all on my card
hey
wait but you can't cut it up
my credit rating is five stars
oh well this place is a joke
yeah who do you think you are
you're talking to the goddamn dumbest
richest guy at the bar