alternative candidate

inside every teenage girl there's a fountain

inside every young pair of pants there's a mountain

inside every mother's eyes is tommy tinkrem's bed

inside every candidate waits a grateful dead

i make it a thing

when i'm on my own to relieve myself

i make it a thing

when i gazelle on stage to believe in myself

i make it a thing

to glance in window panes and look pleased with myself

yeah

and pretend i'm walking home

i took it so bad

i sat in the correction room

took me a fag

and a kick in the moon

well

i ain't gonna suck no radar wing

because inside this tin is tin

would you like to techno-plate 'cause i'm your candidate

oh yeah

it's a matter of life

and the way you walk

you've got a brylcream queen

it's a matter of tact

in the things you talk

that keeps his passport clean

a matter of fact

that a cock ain't a cock on a twelve inch screen

so i'll pretend i'm walking home

you don't have to scream a lot to keep an age in tune

you don't have to scream a lot to predict monsoons

you don't have to paint my contact black

now i've hustled a pair of jeans

do i have to give your money back when i'm the fuhrerling?

i'll make you a deal

i'll say i came from earth and my tongue is taped

i'll make you a deal

you can get your kicks on the candidate

i'll make you a deal

for your future's sake

i'm the candidate

lets pretend we're walking home

uh-huh

uh

i'm the candidate

make way for the candidate

vote now for the candidate