sweatshirt parody

i'm a really young guy

in fact i am only thirteen

i got famous making shitty vines

and cringey lipsyncs on musical.ly

since my fans seem to love

everything i do

they will probably love me doing

a pop song too

but you can't sing!

your voice sounds like a sick animal who's dying!

your singing makes my ears hurt!

it's making me nauseous!

i'd rather drink bleach than hear this!

god this song is a huge turd!

plus this video looks like ass

it's no wonder it almost has

a million dislikes!

if you think my singing sucks

without auto-tune it's much worse

this is what i really sound like

the worst singing ever heard

but all my fans

just see my face and swoon

and when i bite my lip

and do all my fuckboy moves

they are hypnotized

get your dad's bank card and buy

my crap merchandise

like my overpriced sweatshirt

it cost one buck to make

so i'll be laughing to the bank

girl when you wear my sweatshirt

i hate my fat and smelly fans

but my mom and dad demand

i hug them and smile

jacob get inside!

why?

to sew sweatshirts!

but i really don't wanna sew!

so?

this blows

let's go!

oh wait

first let's make a vine

now start sewing those sweatshirts!

help!

our son looks like an elf

but he's brought us such immense wealth

hey jacob get back to work!

it's time to post a corny tweet

and film a cringey musical.ly

make all your fans buy sweatshirts!