becoming myself

people tell me that i'm

going to hell if i don't change

that liking the same sex is wrong

and really kinda strange

that i should find a man and possibly get engaged

find a father for my son

and live holy

everyday

but they don't understand the pain that comes with those words

should i listen to the world? or should i put myself first?

i remember waking up from the pain and the hurt

several suicide attempts

cause i didn't know my worth

popped pills behind the wheel my life i was fighting

thank god i'm alive! man i was only 19

tried to go to church

but they told me i was wrong

didn't feel like i belonged

so i took myself home

anxiety if i die

will i go to heaven? does god love me? even though i love women?

i remember crying in my car wanting to end it all

then i thought about my future as i let my tears fall

fast forward i'm engaged with a son

i learned to love myself and don't listen to anyone

this is for anyone

who just doesn't feel supported

give yourself time

you are freaking loved and so important

if you wanna cry it out

cry it out

it's okay!

no matter if you're straight

bi

trans

queer

or gay

you are worth it and you're beautiful

you're far from the usual

your life is

oh

so worth it because you are freaking perfect how you are

15 years old

i wrote my mom a letter

it was national coming out day so i felt a little better

i said

if she loves me she will accept me for who i am

so i wrote her a note and left it on her nightstand

i said

mommy i love you

thank you for all you've done

i just wanna say i'm gay i don't wanna hurt anyone

i hope i didn't disappoint you

i hope you don't cry

i hope you still love me even though i don't like guys

i

ran away that day and didn't come back

my mom was calling my phone

literally back to back

i thought that she was gonna hate me

i thought she was gonna curse

i called her up that night and asked her to meet me up at a church

crying

tears running down my face

she told me she loved me but it was wrong to feel this way

she told me that i'm young and i was going through a phase

that i should change my ways and that my life would be ok

fast forward i'm engaged with a son

she loves her and my son

she's my supporter number one

this is for anyone

who just doesn't feel supported

give yourself time

you are freaking loved and so important

if you wanna cry it out

cry it out

it's okay!

no matter if you're straight

bi

trans

queer

or gay

you are worth it and you're beautiful

you're far from the usual

your life is oh so worth it because you are freaking perfect how you are

fast forward i'm as happy as can be

i'm gay and i'm proud! and i can finally be me

this is for anyone

who just doesn't feel supported

give yourself time

you are freaking loved and so important

if you wanna cry it out

cry it out

it's okay!

no matter if you're straight

bi

trans

queer

or gay

you are worth it and you're beautiful

you're far from the usual

your life is oh so worth it because you are freaking perfect how you are

you are freaking perfect how you are