before i woke up

i walk to the top of a hill

to watch the sunrise over mountains far away

and just be still

and it brightens wherever it spills

and peels away the last semblance of night

the colors reclaimed by the light

but there's a space between always and never

on a clear day you can see forever

i had a dream they were coming

there was a gun in my hand

it was heavy and cold

empty of ammunition

and it felt like thunder

as the devil and god

both came for my soul

right before i woke up

i walk to the top of a hill

torn between two faces that aren't mine

the hateful and unreachably divine

so i watch how the dawn repeats

all the cowards cave to outrage

and the imposters act pristine

but there's a place between always and never

on a clear day i can see forever

i had a dream they were coming

there was a gun in my hand

it was heavy and cold

empty of ammunition

and it felt like thunder

as the devil and god

both came for my soul

right before i woke up

i drop back in

and i can't find a way out now

as i drown inside the ocean of myself

don't know if i'm the weapon

or if i'm the war

something faceless screams

open the door"