medicine show

get three coffins ready

huh? ah!

covered wagon

medicine show

take you to a place where the healing flows

oh-ho

weak in spirit

we got the juice

won't save your soul

it'll shine your shoes

oh

treated king to kangaroo

santa fe to timbuktu

oh-ho

don't be fooled by imitation

this is the stuff that cured a nation

we took the tube and the high plains

too

never stopped long

just passing through

a drop of the laughter of the maids of france

makes a hopeless cripple dance

oh

it was really vile weather

when we got tarred and feathered

you could hear the six-guns sound

as they chased us out of town

whoa-ho

in india

we're all the rave

discovered that it's great as aftershave

oh-ho

dropped in the sea just off japan

swapped twenty bottles for an aqua-walkman

oh

immunity from ridicule

improves your brains if you're a fool

oh-ho

and i read in the middle east

traded some for a hostage release

now if you're bald

it'll give you hair

if you've got straight trousers

it'll give you flares

feeling up

you'll get depressed

out of style

here's a brand new dress

oh

it was really vile weather

when we got tarred and feathered

you could hear the six-guns sound

as they chased us out of town

who the hell is that? one bastard goes in

another one comes out!

turn him around! turn around!

turn him around! turn around!

i'm innocent of anything!

you making some kind of joke?

oh

no

i don't think it's nice

you laughing

the stuff we sell is just the best

passing all consumer tests

oh-ho

days of heaven

nights of sin

voodoo stick and shark's fin

when all around you seems like hell

just one sip will make you well

oh-ho

multi-purpose in a jar

if you ain't ill it'll fix your car

in days of yore

for all bad feelings

washing socks and stripping ceilings

nowadays

it's used medicinally

for all known human malady

oh

it was really vile weather

when we got tarred and feathered

you could hear the six-guns sound

as they chased us out of town

whoa-ho. wanted in fourteen counties of this state

the condemned is found guilty of the crimes of murder

armed robbery of citizens

state banks and post offices

the theft of sacred objects

arson in a state prison

perjury

bigamy

deserting his wife and children

inciting prostitution

kidnapping

extortion

receiving stolen goods

selling stolen goods

passing counterfeit money

and contrary to the laws of this state

the condemned is guilty of using marked cards and loaded dice. therefore

according to the power invested in us

we sentence the accused here before us

tuco benedicto pacifico juan maria ramirez.known as the rat.and any other aliases he might have

to hang by the neck until dead. may god have mercy on his soul. proceed

duck

you sucker!

i don't have to show you any stinkin' badges!.