post nuclear talking blues

i don't have the magnetism of a national hero

i'm not desperate enough to

carry 'round a bomb in a bag

and i hate to clean up behind my dog

he's a pretty big guy and he eats like a hog

i never quite get that haircut they have in the window

i better give myself a talking to

i better work out what i'm going to do

maybe get myself a wife

better get myself a life

instead of these post nuclear talking blues

when i go to the store

the express line gets derailed

i know that none of my batteries were included

i fall down every time i drink

i wash and all my whites turn pink

and i always come home with someone else's pants

i better give myself a talking to

i better work out what i'm going to do

maybe get myself a wife

better get myself a life

instead of these post nuclear talking blues

the rain won't worry a drowning man

until his feet are on dry land

he won't even care if his best shoes are full of sand

whenever my flight touches down

my bags are in a different town

and the customs men like to get intimate with me

i better give myself a talking to

i better work out what i'm going to do

maybe get myself a wife

better get myself a life

instead of these post nuclear talking blues

and that's all