budding ornithologists are weary of tired analogies

i refuse to learn gimmicky dance moves

but surely this is something you can shake your ass to

all the clever rhymes have been written

so divas settle for kevin feder-lines

i let my mind wander far beyond mars

which normally means whatever channel is playing pawn stars

sometimes i wonder why i wasn't picked to be green lantern

or why i'm forced to spit these rhymes in dimly lit taverns

these songs aren't worth the paper that they're written on

tattoos are expensive and i've got sensitive palms

i'm walt white without pants

pistol drawn

my life consists of veggie bacon and getting pissed upon

there are crackhead cro-magnons who have to de-thaw

and show their club memberships with starbucks beverage green straws

i never played football

i was team fumbler

hip-hop is cool if you quote me on your tumblr

over an auspicious backdrop of nebulas

my music career has a slight upward slope of hyperbola

my other job's only line is

tonight