changes consume me

it's a terrible statement but i never let it leave my side. that sickening realization that i'm done with this fight. moments kneeling on the bedroom floor sickened by the entity i had absorbed

no more. i would not let the self-scrutinizing endeavor endure a precipice a monologue questioning my every motive. my disaster stricken heart feeling broken

my emotions quoted spilling out of a broken vase taking the place of what was once your emotion. diluted with tears

an open book scribbled with fears engraved pools of ink i'm vocally shook; and i'm tired of telling myself that it's gonna change. taken by the spectacular lie that existence can end. faulse-hoods predicted my sinners dictated my every decision. an exit of sorts seemed logical

cause i thought i could silence this breath. but contrary to my mindset

i circumvented my threats to silence the demons singing songs in my head; whispering in my ear

that ending it all is a safe bet. comforting me as i try to manipulate my end. those moments when i decided i couldn't handle this anymore! pins and needles infected every sensation i had left!

feeling like this love i had once found had been torn open and left broken in the cold -that the seams holding it together ripped open and my flesh tore open with that is i pray that my breathing would stop. and as i held those staining memories

i held on so tightly; remembering what life used to mean. selfishly ready to embrace the fact that i am weak!

but then i called to you

and i hoped someone would find me; and i found you

and i had hoped someone would call me! cause i'm listening to these echoes of my own voice leaving damage in the cold

as i feel i have finally grown to the point where i can snap. a point of knowing i could never go back. and it's in the moments i felt most alone. that i told myself no one was there for me; and little did i know

love with sitting right beside me

i just wasn't listening. at this point in my life i don't know many things

but i can promise you this - you are loved completely.