closer parody

hey

do you remember me?

i used to date you

i make music now

with this weird dude

let's bang

okay

i

forgot how good having sex with you was

on this mattress we stole from your roommate

last night was amazing

when i'm with you i feel like i'm not aging

yeah

i feel the same

let's get back together so we'll never age yeah

let's make a song about that

can you sing?

why yes

i can

why don't we call it closer

and make it about that rover

that you never could afford

cause you're poor

hey don't be a jerk

also let's add a dumb lyric

bout that mattress that we stole

it has a really bad odor

we puked on it back in boulder

number 1 it's our song closer

famous singers don't get older

hey

our song has been #1 for 10 years

and we still haven't aged a day

weird

this is so great

yes

we still look young our lyrics came true

even though we chain smoke and drink booze everyday

it's 2046

we ain't gettin' older but you look like shit

dicks

now our old friends

are growing bald and gray and getting saggy tits

but we still both look super hot

and still have a huge hit song

enough of this delusion

based on lyrics in our music

you've been brainwashed by our song he's right i am here to prove it

take these meds they'll make you lucid

they're anti-delusional

you have both been getting older

this dream world of yours is over

but this can't be our song closer

said we're never getting older

i'm here to repo your rover

you can't afford it

i told her

hand's up dirtbags don't come closer

is that your mattress from boulder?

yes it is i am the owner

you jerks stole it

we weren't sober!

you're going to jail forever

by the way you all have lung cancer