Damaged Goods

She forced a smile

said

"Boy

come kiss my mouth.

You know that hope you're holding to? It looks an awful lot like fear.

Now

you're so quick to fall on failure

and so quick to raise your voice

like

'If I can't find a mistake to blame

we didn't have a choice.'

Oh

but you had an option.

I was your chance to feel complete

But when I leaned in close to you

you

Kissed your fear instead of me.

You had my hand in your hand

You had my lip in your teeth

You had my heart on your sleeve

You had a chance to breathe.

But

boy

you wouldn't let your fear recede so I moved on.

And it's too late to change your mind now

You got scared

boy

and I got gone.

Now you failed

and there's no way to turn back time.

You had your chance

boy

I tried."

"You tried?" I looked her in the eye and smiled

"My girl

you must understand that fear is not some product that I made.

It crept unwelcome in my head the day they had her torn away.

It changed me.

Now at the end of every day I lie awake at night and wait

To feel the wires of my brain get cut and quietly rearranged

and

Hear my beaten heart exclaim

'Still

I refuse to let her go.'

So we escape to our mistakes for they wait patiently for us.

Oh

how they always wait for me.

If my fear has kept me here

only my fear can set me free.

And I'm sorry

dear

but don't you dare speak another word.

How could I risk holding your heart in me while still in love with her?

You were wrong."