gunslinger

listen up

brother

got a little rhyme for you

but i gotta tell ya; i ain't no durn singer

i'm a gunslinger

who's a better gunslinger? that's a humdinger

blood blister on my one finger from triggers

and i don't hunt deer

so chump

here's something i'd like to advise

better run for your life if you'd like to survive in the frontier

it's like you drunk beer

brain ain't configured

a word to the wise and your mind will become clear

bright as the lights on the rides of a fun fair

so come bring your jesse james and billy the kid

i'll make a mess of their brains and fill 'em with lead

and i will until every damn villain is dead

then i'm bringin' the sheriff a bag full of their heads

handlin' any man that is plannin' to stand in my path

because i'm heavy-handed with every bandit i wrangle with

and we're in a century that hasn't any ambulances

so best pack your best brandy and bandages

when i'm rat-a-tat-tattin' on my gatling guns

the blast attacks faster than my battlin' puns

a lemat in my one hand and another in my other

so get runnin' for cover

you would you rather be buggered?

shots

i'm lickin' off like the sugar on my cherry strudel

i'm quick on the draw

call me mary doodles

i'm gettin' reward money to bury people

and as a result

i never need to be very frugal

'less you want your tooth pulled

pay the dentist

i make rackets as if it's an angry game of tennis

don't hate the player

no

hate the business

i make a livin' from wanted posters: jay mcguiness

forget a hook

i ain't no durn singer

brother

look

i'm just a gunslinger

so forget a hook

i ain't no durn singer

brother

look

i'm just gonna get some dynamite and then i'll light my pipe

and when the timing's right

i'll set the skies alight

kind of like juarez calls for silas greaves

to make you fall like a pile of leaves

shootin' line after line after line of thieves

and i've touched more gold than a miner's sleeves

when i wield dual revolvers

you'll feel the coldness

once in a blue moon

i'm using my holsters

shootin' my colt

i'm too skilled to falter

is it any wonder saloons here are closed?

when you bring a whole platoon filled with soldiers

i barbecue fools

a new meal for vultures

high noon

we're overdue for elevenses

i left the saloon

it was strewn with your severed limbs

bringin' just a shoe to a shootout

to kick your booty so brutally

you'll never get my boot out

forget a hook

i ain't no durn singer

brother

look

i'm just a gunslinger

so forget a hook

i ain't no durn singer

brother

look

i'm just a gunslinger

i'm just a mean-ass gunslinger

and i guess that's all i'll ever be

but lemme tell you that's all i ever wanna be

a mean-ass gunslinger

pardner

beg your pardon

ma'am