death messiah

did protons and electrons create the earth?

or did allah meditate

and create his birth?

is everyday in this place a curse?

or should i pray on my knees and embrace this dirt?

i don't know if there's a reason i'm here

i feel the only thing that's driving me is reason and fear

and seeing death to me conceivably near

so i don't give a fuck what you think about me reaching for beer

i don't worry anymore about what my friends do

i have a more urgent matter to attend to

is there something there bigger when i die and vanish?

that weaves everyone and everything into a canvas

i'm not smart enough to think i have a resolution

i'll never be a man with mediocre constitution

my father told me that blood and power intoxicate

and that tyranny is a product of his father's hate

i recognized the guilt and sins of the father

and recognized what's built and what stems from the author

understand man is not a machine

he needs a surface and a purpose and a reason for being

either way i'm going to stick with my fam

regardless if that's a dream of a ridiculous man

and i'm becoming more indifferent everyday

so naturally all the questions have faded away

some of the things that i said i hated to say

but blame ya self mothafucka you made it this way

i don't think i would even if i was able to stay

i don't think you're good i would sit to the angels and pray

but everybody gotta deal with they self

if they cut another throat for the material wealth

if it's a problem are you man enough to deal with the help?

or are you destined for the darkness of concealing ya self?

i'm trying to deal with the thirty years i've spent in prison

not the physical because of existentialism

i back myself into a previously dead position

when all i ever had to do was just repent and listen

why can't everybody leave me alone?

i'm the only one who really need to see that i've grown

you ain't smart enough to see what i know

i like to stab myself and let me fucking bleed till i go

but i'm just scared what would happen on the other side

tryna fight the good fight

how many of us died?

i don't know if i trust the people that hang with me

is it god or is it the big bang theory?

i know some really good people and they slang near me

but i don't think karmically that they should hang really

at thirty years old i don't have peace yet

and i ain't get out of the belly of the beast yet