dust and ashes

is this how i die?

ridiculed and laughed at

wearing clown shoes

is this how i die?

furious and reckless

sick with booze

how did i live?

i taste every wasted minute

every time i turned away

from the things that might have healed me

how long have i been sleeping?

is this how i die?

frightened like a child

lazy and numb

is this how i die?

pretending and preposterous

and dumb

how did i live?

was i kind enough and good enough?

did i love enough?

did i ever look up

and see the moon

and the stars

and the sky?

oh why have i been sleeping?

they say we are asleep

until we fall in love

we are children of dust and ashes

but when we fall in love we wake up

and we are a god

and angels weep

but if i die here tonight

i die in my sleep

all of my life i spent searching the words

of poets and saints and prophets and kings

and now at the end all i know that i've learned

is that all that i know is i don't know a thing

so easy to close off

place the blame outside

hiding in my room at night

so terrified

all the things i could have been

but i never had the nerve

life and love

i don't deserve

so all right

all right

i've had my time

close my eyes

let the death bells chime

bury me in burgundy

i just don't care

nothing's left

i looked everywhere

is this how i die?

was there ever any other way my life could be?

is this how i die?

such a storm of feelings inside of me?

but then why am i screaming?

why am i shaking?

oh god

was there something that i missed?

did i squander my divinity?

was happiness within me the whole time?

they say we are asleep

until we fall in love

we are children of dust and ashes

but when we fall in love we wake up

and we are a god

and angels weep

but if i die here tonight

i die in my sleep

they say we are asleep

until we fall in love

and i'm so ready

to wake up now

i want to wake up

don't let me die while i'm like this

i want to wake up

god don't let me die while i'm like this

please let me wake up now

god don't let me die while i'm like this

i'm ready

i'm ready

to wake up