escape from robot island

escape. escape. august 4th

1990

kicking it across the bay

when we went straight to that island on that momentous day

to explore it

not ignore it

like christopher c. mnp and lars h

pioneers adrift at sea. and so we went ashore

knowing not what was in store

'till there came a crazy noise that we could not ignore. fourteen robo-primates

they came straight for us

nasty and ugly

like a zit brimming with puss. so we hopped into our boat

hoping it would float

'till we found a robo-monkey had chewed it like a goat

and a big hole remained at the bottom of our craft. as it began to sink

the robo-creatures laughed. then out of the woods came more robots by the dozens -

daddies

mommies

aunts

and uncles

grandmas

grandpas

and cousins;

whole robo-families

thirsting for blood. vampiric evil machines caked in oil

grease

and mud. escape from robot island

we'll take them to the desert

trip their circuits and fry them. can't stay in robot island

these robots are maniacal

i'll sweep them up and hide them. get out of robot island

don't want to be your robo-lunch

your robo-canned-food-blend. delete robot island

you evil r2d2's

now it's time to meet your end. what's that you say

boy haven't you heard?

call me a stupid-ass white boy

flip me the bird?

i want to smack you right now in the face

but they're locked on me

stalking this place. today has been a scary day

these robots they don't want to play. their bodies are metallic gray

their wires look like plastic hay. these robots chased us through the night. everybody knows that i put up a fight

to the different kinds

they blow my mind. giant eyeball watching me reading my mind. there are fury ones with blades coming out of their fur

robots riding chariots just like ben-hur

a ton that will toss you in a chasm

balls that drill you like in phantasm. tall ones

short ones

round ones

long ones

little ones

green ones

right ones

wrong ones. batteries not included

these things attack

model zx goes for your sack. big metal teeth ain't too friendly. mechanical death? that's not for me!

all the different doomsday machines

we have to stop them with live-or-die means. they have their cold metallic hearts

soulless just like kinkade's art

we need to learn to play the part. getting out alive is where we'll start

saving ourselves. see

that is our mission

like i'm running from the firm in the novel by grisham. or tommyknockers

by mr. king. on the run

and this ain't no dream. escape from robot island

we'll take them to the desert

trip their circuits and fry them. can't stay in robot island

these robots are maniacal

i'll sweep them up and hide them. get out of robot island

don't want to be your robo-lunch

your robo-canned-food-blend. delete robot island

you evil r2d2's

now it's time to meet your end. hiding out on the tree house floor

evil bots knocking at the door. we climbed up here to get away

and we've been stuck all night and day. we built a gun

quadruple barreled

quiver filled with acid arrows. there was a chainsaw that we found

like ash we wielded it around. we used it like a robot shank. little did we know the chain would break. we had a copper melting pot

filled with oil very hot. it burned right through the wooden planks

they climbed up and they said thanks."