first day of the end of my life

jumping off 14th avenue tonight

spill my regrets in the highway light

you might call me a coward

and they might call it a sin

but i'll never have to hear those words again

i took pills the doctors gave me for my brain

it's a chemical imbalance from what they know

but i never felt much different or the same

with the way i feel

i wouldn't even know

i said goodbye to both my mom and room

and i walked towards all the things i'll never do

i almost called my friends to see what all of them would say

but they never really answered anyway

maybe someone else can use my eyes or heart

i thought about taking pills to buy them time

but i couldn't take the chance that i'd survive

with a new regret in the hospital light

i had a thousand different answers

when the problem's what i need

in a city lay in ruins

where the carpenters sleep

and the architect was digging through the ash

to find the plans they'll never need

at least not for me

so dear family

don't cry

i took years to find a meaningful and peaceful place to die

so i'll be fine

sincerely

caroline