first keg stand

my first keg stand

didn't go like i planned

to say i did well would be a lie

oh my first keg stand

i did all i can

it almost brought a tear to my eye

well i went out to my buddy bill's

and he had a party in the back of a field

when i got there he was by a fire

and he had a whole keg of pbr

now that there ain't my beer of choice

but when i saw that keg my lips got moist

and i thought i had me a good ole plan

i was gon' try my first keg stand

look at this man

you think you can do this?

that's a bad idea man

a bad idea

can y'all get him?

please

you may wanna first check his id

my first keg stand

didn't go like i planned

to say i did well would be a lie

oh my first keg stand

i did all i can

it almost brought a tear to my eye

they lifted me up

and i grabbed the hose

and before i knew it beer was in my nose

and i had done soaked people from behind

they put me down without a second chance

and it looked like i'd peed my pants

and the dude told me i needed to go to the back of the line

what you say to me?

no man i ain't worried about him

pretty big fella

ain't he?

i went to the back and i waitin' my turn

and the feelin' hit me and it started to burn

and i knew i had to give it one more shot

then the girl in front stepped right up

and she must've weighed 350 plus

and i'm tellin' all y'all old bertha didn't spill a drop

who is he talkin' about?

see

see

that's why you lookin' at me like. eh

you don't know bertha

she from way back in the woods

she been drinkin' since drinkin' since drinkin'

my first keg stand

didn't go like i planned

to say i did well would be a lie

oh my first keg stand

i did all i can

it almost brought a tear to my eye

it's my turn again

and i have no fear

ain't nothin' better than an ice cold beer

and i can't stand losin'

let me make that clear

i was up so long i was turnin' red

and all my blood rushed to my head

but i was hangin' on for dear life like a leech

they put me down and called out my time

and it was one minute and thirty-five

and then they wanted me to say a speech

so i said

my first keg stand

didn't go like i planned

to say i did well would be a lie

but on my second keg stand

i did all i can

and i beat every man in here tonight

dang sure did

he didn't beat old bertha though

i give it to him man

i ain't seen nobody beat her in years now

he showed out

good job though