life is all about the progress
learning through the process
only the insecure will always make it into a contest
but nothing's guaranteed except the time that comes for our deaths
so i ain't heartless
i just learned to use my heart less
and wait i've been here before
a dark room without light but all my energy pours
just like my haters
i'm trying to put an end to these flaws
but reminiscing about my past has got my memory torn
and even though i'm strong and wide awake now
i'm trying not to break down
i've grown so fucking much ain't looking back
i'm looking straight down
i let it all slide
treating life like it's a playground
now everything that i was is everything that i would hate now
but see i've taken a stance
and with the power of god the devil don't wanna dance
this is a cutthroat world
keep an eye on your fam
even your brother will desert you if they gave him the chance
and that will fuck up your plans
i mean so fucked up you can't
think straight
cause you would've gave that motherfucker your hand
but let these outsiders
outsiders fuck up your brand
i try to act like it don't bother me as much as i can
but it does
i try my best not to bug
he might as well have sliced my throat and watch it pour out with blood
he might as well have take my shot and filled my body with slugs
cause that's exactly how it feels when i get hurt by anybody i love
fuck
me and the ex didn't work out
the ride was never good but took a turn for the worst now
there's no communication
i can't even get a word out
mention it in my music just to try to get the word
out
people ask
i bring her up with respect
to find out
she enjoys to bad mouth me to death
bothers my brain how she speaks of me without no regret
i try my best
being a father shouldn't be this much stress
and now my nerves are a mess
it's like a blow to the chest
i helped her out so fucking much i put myself into debt
i'm talkin car trouble
bills due
she's short with the rent
she had a man but had my daughter
what the fuck you expect?
but it ain't about what i spent and it ain't about what i gave you
it ain't about all the lies and being fake with the thank yous
it's more about the surprise of having reasons to hate you
for being foolish and immature and so fucking ungrateful
can't even stop to explain to how much i tried to erase you
for not letting me see my daughter and you feel it's ok to
giving me that beat as a label
i'm sitting here with a playbook
this bad taste in my mouth won't let me eat at the table
the pressure's gettin to me
so i gotta release
the pressure's gettin to me
cause it forms a monsterous beast
and a way to calm it at least is to put my heart on these beats
so until that goes acapella i'll go hard when i speak
i'm getting sick of all the fake shit
my life is not to play with
these rappers are quick to praise me
i'd rather they wouldn't say shit
now a days if you've got a compliment you can save it
if you ain't planning to sign me or helpin a nigga make it
i'm thinking they'd get awakened the minute they see me chasin
they realizing that they're spot for the throne is up for the takin
and nobody wants to help someone or or to pass on their greatness
it's all a gift and a curse
i learned that lesson from j
and i know i've been here before
this feeling ain't really new
asked god on pressure 4 cause i didn't know what to do
i never really got an answer but think he left me a clue
turn your back on your problems and you still gotta face the truth
and that's real
my body's never still
with the devil on my back
he's screaming let's make a deal"