goddamn hiv

my name is michael joe alexandre

i've been a queer since the day i was born

my family

they don't say much to me

my heart knows their silence has scorn

my friends have been dying

all my best friends are dead

i walk around these days

with their picture in my head

spending my time thinking 'bout the things they say

i don't know what's happening to me

goddamn hiv

and i don't know what all this means

i don't think it means what it seems

we used to party all night till the dawn

i can still see the boys with their tight leather on

in the downtown bars

where it always is night

i can hang with my friends 's still all right

i was 30 when the thickness first came

and it rode through my world like a wind driven flame

leaving ashes

memories

funerals and pain

and i don't know what's happening to me

goddamn hiv

and i don't know what all this means

i don't think it means what it seems

when i was a boy i get scared at night

my momma would come

turn on the light

but there's nobody here with me tonight

and i don't know what's happening to me

sometime at dusk i walk the train track

and i walk and i walk but i ain't coming back

i look at the sky so endless and black

men i swear its swallowing me

goddamn hiv