half fist

i've seen the family photos

and the man's a mystery

died in 1942 at the age of 43

my grandmother was his widow

and my father was his son

oh

but i know next to nothing

of the first loudon

they say he was an sob

who liked to smoke and drink

in the photos he looks handsome

attractive's what i think

and there's one of him in uniform

and it must have been world war i

they say he was an expert sailor

and could handle a shotgun

in the wedding portrait

posing with his young bride

his right hand

hidden by her bouquet

is left hanging at his side

closed in a kind of half-fist

unsure what he'd just done

facing his short future

like he could hit someone

it was elbows off the table

before the meal'd begun

and it's his hands i recognize

he gave them to his son

whose own hands held and touched me

and ruffled up my hair

and i recognize that half-fist

i'd know it anywhere

later on

in the late 30s

he began to go to seed

in the photos he looks loaded

they observe and i will heed

mugging for the camera

having a little fun

cigarette in one hand

and a drink in the other one

yes

i know a little something

about the first loudon

my grandmother was his widow

and my father was his son

tell me what are we afraid of?

why do we resist?

i spread my hands and flex my fingers

open and close my fist

i spread my hands and flex my fingers

open and close my fist