hello parody

hello

help me

i have no service i shouldn't have switched to at&t

i cannot

even tweet

my entire world is crashing down

i feel like i'm dying

hello

can you hear me?

adele

calm down

use the landline

you are such a drama queen

no i canceled that

last week

i'm having a panic attack

just try outside

stop crying

this entire song is

one giant

first world problem rant

hello oh god no why!

i still have zero bars outside

i'm so screwed my life is

crumbling before my eyes

wait i know

i'll go back in

and connect with wifi

oh no i'm locked outside

i can't fucking believe this

why?

please come to the door and let me back in the home

it's fifty degrees and all i have is this massive coat i'm so cold

thank god

a payphone

in the middle of the woods

makes perfect sense

normal totally

come on

pick it up

i can't believe i'm locked out of the house and you're not answering

it's been an hour

since my last tweet

my fans must think i'm dead

help me i cannot get online

if i do not say hello i

will lose my following

they will forget about me

wait hold up i have a

bar now i can tweet

hello i'm still alive

i have bad service

locked outside

she can't get in her house

and her service is bad

oh god poor adele

her life is

in shambles it's so sad

it's the worst day of my life

and now my fucking phone just died

everything's gone wrong my

world's falling apart

i might as well just give up and

shove this knife in my heart

good-bye world