the rules of engagement are really quite simple
so if you could pull yourself away from grindr for two seconds
the use of flash photography is strictly mandatory
do you think i look like this so i can exist in your feeble memory?
take a picture and i'll last forever!
get your drinks now people
if you don't know what compulsory means
i'll spell it out for you
it takes a lot of money to look this cheap darling!
be kind to your entertainers
some of the most beautiful women in the world have gigantic penises!
if you see something you don't like
something unseemly or offensive
something vile or disgusting
we'll be happy to take your complaints after the show!
at the corner of 'fuck you and go fuck yourself avenue.com!'
if you think you can do better
put on a wig and mash your mouth around to other people's music for 4 and a half minutes
it's not as easy as it looks!
show generosity to these monstrosities!
but how about breathtaking? jeez!
i swear its like pulling teeth to get a little tiny compliment out of you people!
now let's review everybody!
if you're not wearing nails