how to be an indie rapper

good morning children

children

please sit down

you all know me

superintendent gtb

we have something

extra special this morning

something ay sit down

gracie

xavier

there's not going to be any of that

sit down

we have two very special professors with us today

mc lars

and weerd science {yayyyyyy!}

they're here to teach all of us how to be

indie rappers

ahem!

here's a little rap about the steps that it takes

to be an indie rapper

or who knows

one day one of the greats

i'm not saying that it's easy but these steps can help

if you follow 'em close you could carve out a career for yourself

step one! get your hide ready to tour in a van

the limelight might sparkle but it's not real man

step two! you've got to flood the internet with material

go serial

'til it spreads like venereal

step three! you've got to keep a close eye on your ticket stubs

the only bottles you'll be poppin is the water from the club

step four! you can forget about the champagne and filets

cause it's more like tostitos and old pb&j

step five! this is probably one of the most important

never sign to a major and let your heart get extorted

step six! you've got to book all the shows that you can

and hopefully you get a chance to win the headliner's stance

step seven! never mind all the pointin and the laughin

your girl won't be psyched you spent all your time rappin

step eight! remember hip-hop's about being true

gotta go

peace

weerd science

more work to do

how to be an indie rapper - class is in session

take notes

and learn your lesson

it's weerd science - and mc lars

if you follow our steps

you can go far

a is for the albatross they call a day job

b is for the beats - make sure they sound way hot

c is for the cash you collect on the road

d is for the drives that you make to get to shows

e is for the energy on stage that you need

f is for the food

your band you need to feed

g is for the gross on merch that you get

h is for the half that goes to costs

don't get upset

i is for your income

also known as net

j is for the journey

who knows what to expect?

k keep the l love

m major labels um

n-o never sign to one

p keep your publishin

q is for quickbooks

r save your receipts

s for social networking

t technology

u understand that building takes time

v viral videos can supplement your rhymes

on your brand dot com

w use the web

know it takes x years

a lot of work and sweat

y is for the yes yes y'all" on the mic