I'll Get By

I used to listen to my life

I was so put together

I chose what I wanted to be in that age of chasing sand

The age of believing in everything

But I couldn't save you

I couldn't save what was taken away

And I'm still singing

and you still can't stay.

You "loved life

" and those words have lasted

I just wish I would have had ears for more than what you said

Because I still feel the lack long after.

Such a light body

such a quiet gait leaving behind the weight of the world

I'll always think it was too early to lose your shine

I guess the means that ends us means nothing

I just hope it's the peace we all need

Because I could love and drown in your God damned smile lines

But I think I burnt up watching you rallying to stay alive

And I guess that's fine.

It seems we all get sick

We all die in some no name hospital with the same colored walls

And I guess that's fine

But I want to swallow

I want to stomach

I want to live.

It's been a rough while and some days are worse than others

There's no proper way to feel

no mirth

no levity

no amazing grace

Just a flame on a lake floating away

I can't let you lay

I want you to know

I'm learning patience against my will

I want you to know

I'll get by

always barely scraping

With just a hunger

with just a heart apart

It's a hell of a thing.