i'm a slave

now folks i got this smoking habit see

and i know the habit's bad

but the worse thing about smoking

is it makes them nonsmokers so mad

they say if you gonna puff them things

go sit in the smoking section please

they put us in a ward like a bunch of cows

with the hoof in mouth disease

and all i hear is cigarets

their bad for you dude

well that may be friends

but i like them

every way but bar-b-q'ed

and when i'm ready to quit smoking

don't worry it'll be a breeze

but right now friend

better stick me in

the smoking section please

i'm a slave

he's a slave

i'm a slave

he's a slave

i'm a poor helpless victim

to the thing my body craves

his body craves

now i know my smoking habit's rotten

and i hate myself for ever starting

but right now friend i could eat a carton

cause i'm a slave

ooo-ooooo

now folks back home there was this dude

that would gamble at the drop of your hat

you know the kind

he has to raise all the time

and cover every bet

well one night he was having a run of luck

and all his luck was bat

done lost his money lost his car

he done lost everything he had

and i'm trying to drag him

out of that poker game

and he's a hanging on to my arm

jerry loan me ten

help me get back in

i'll win a ribbon farm

well i loaned him ten then twenty

friends they was picking me to the bone

and when i stopped the game

all that remain

was my cab-fair home

i said hey if i was stuck with your luck

believe i'd leave that poker alone

he said jerry it ain't nothing but dough

and money ain't got no home

loan me ten

i'm a slave

he's a slave

i'm a slave

he's a slave

i'm a poor helpless victim

to the thing my body craves

his body craves

but there is some good

to come out of this friends

there's always one bet you can win

you bet this cowboy

will bet um again

cause i'm a slave

ooo-ooooo

well now i ain't seen my next-door neighbor

in a week or so i guess

till yesterday and he was all bandaged up

and in this body cast

i said well from the looks of you son

uh the wreck must have been bad

he said no this is what happens jerry

when your ol lady gets mad

he said it was last saturday night and i was in this bar

had a blonde on my knee

when i look up and there's my ol lady

looking right down on me

well she grabbed that blonde

and they was a having a championship bout

i stood up and said now honey wait a minuet

and i never should open my mouth

cause she come right across my head with a bottle

yelling save that country jive

and what she done to me

was world war three

and i'm lucky to be alive

and i said let that be a lesson son

maybe this flame will be your last

he said hey me and you

know what i'm gonna do

soon as i get out of this cast

i'm a slave

he's a slave

i'm a slave

he's a slave

don't put the pressure on me

it effects how i behave

how he behaves

i love them short fat skinny ones

i like them brunets i love the blonds

i can't help it

its a lot of fun

i'm a slave

he's a slave

i'm a slave

he's a slave

i'm a poor helpless victim

to the thing my body craves

his body craves

well i was laying in the floor

half killed asking myself

was it worth the thrill?

will you do it again

you know i will

cause i'm a slave

uh hello sugar babe

uh you ain't got a cigaret on you have you

yeah well i guess borrowing ten is out of the question ain't it