i'm the greatest star

listen

i've got thirty-six expressions

sweet as pie to tough as leather

and that's six expressions more

than all them barrymores put together

instead of just kicking me

why don't they give me a lift?

it must be a plot

'cause they're scared that i got

such a gift-well

i'm miffed-'cause

i'm the greatest star

i am by far

but no one knows it!

wait

they're gonna hear a voice

a silver flute-ah hah

ah hah

they'll cheer each toot

when i expose it

now

can't you see to look at me

that i'm a natural camille?

as camille i just feel

i've so much to offer

listen kid

i know i'd be divine because

i'm a natural cougher

some ain't got it-not a lump

i'm a great big clump of talent!

laugh

they'll bend in half

a thousand jokes

stick around for the jokes

a thousand faces

i reiterate

when you're gifted

then you're gifted

these are facts-i got no axe to grind

hey

what are they-blind?

in all of the world so far

i'm the greatest star

who is the pip with piz-azz?

who is all ginger and jazz?

who is as glamorous as?

who's an american beauty rose

with an american beauty nose

and ten american beauty toes

eyes on the target

and wham-

one shot

one gun shot and bam!

hey

mr. keaney

here i am!

i'm the greatest star

i am by far

but no one knows it!

that's why i was born

i'll blow my horn

till someone blows it!

i'll light up like a light

right up like a light

i'll flicker

then flare up

all the world's gonna stare up

lookin' down

you'll never see me

try the sky

'cause that'll be me

i can make 'em cry

i can make 'em sigh

someday they'll clamor

for my dram-er

have you guessed yet

who's the best yet?

if you ain't i'll tell you one more time

you bet your last dime

in all of the world so far

i'm the greatest

greatest star!