i can do without you

in the summer you're the winter

in the finger you're the splinter

in the banquet you're the stew

say

i could do without you

in the garden you're the gopher

in the levi's you're the loafer

like an overturned canoe

well

i could do without you

you can go to philadelphia

take a hack to hackensack

hey

i'll never ring a bell fer yer

or yell fer yer to come back

in the question you're the why

in the ointment you're the fly

doris: though i know some things are indefensible

like a buck or two

if there's one thing i can do without

i can do without you

in the barrel you're a pickle

in the goldmine you're a nickel

you're the tack inside my shoe

yes

i can do without you

in my bosom you're a dagger

you're a mangy carpetbagger

in the theatre you're the 'boo'

i can do without you

you got charms

they ain't bewitchin' me

you've a face no one would paint

doris: i got the darndest itch in me

to be wherever you ain't

in the bullfrog you're the croak

in the forest

poison oak

though i know somethings are necessary

my half-pint buckaroo

if there's one thing i can do without

i can do without. you're a knothead!

you're a faker!

you're a bonehead!

troublemaker!

i can do without you!