i run ny

ladies and gentleman

the mayor of new york. good morning. it's been brought to my attention that many rap artist claim that they run new york

but this is not the case. in fact

i wrote my own song about what it's really like. please excuse the profanity in advance. hit it. alright

new york!

new york

big city of dreams

and you know that i run this town. the king of the streets

dressed in concrete

skyscrapers on my crown!

so if you want this big apple

come try to take a bite!

'cause i run this motherfucking city and i won't give it up without a fight!

yo

i run new york!

it's a pain in the ass!

the city's crowded as fuck

and it's covered in trash!

and the sanitation chief just shoved his shit in my face;

another transit strike? aw

fucking great!

i can't wait

to have another meeting with the labor union

so the mob can bend me over

and then shove their fucking shoe in. so i do it

so you can sip your pumpkin latte. i literally run new york and it's exhausting!

i run new york

it's a fucking headache

it really wears you down!

in this lake of bureaucratic bullshit

it's a miracle i don't drown!

i literally run new york: i run the marathon. plus i organized it

so i double-run the marathon!

but no one seems to give a fuck that i'm a paragon. instead they photoshop me so

it's looking like i wear a thong

and laugh at it in my own office when i'm gone. i went to the knicks game

and

they booed me on the jumbotron!

excuse me

for trying to help you;

they won't be satisfied until i'm

locked up in bellevue. i guess they don't tell you

this job sucks dick. i run new york and it feels like shit!

the chief of police is a major bully

he laughs at my ideas. he made fun of my tie last week

and i had to fight back tears!

now on the surface

it probably seems like i should quit

cause i spend every day getting punched in the dick. but at night

i travel down into the subway

wearing chainmail

locked and loaded for gunplay

and battle the gigantic fire-breathing mutant rats!

if i fucking quit

who the fuck would do that?!

i'll give you a hint: the answer is no one. that's why i'm in the sewer dressed up like a shogun. because on the equinox

a hell gate springs

releasing hounds wreathed in the blood of kings. and no one even knows!

they just think i'm a dork. but i still kill those fucking dogs

because

i run new york!

i run new york

it's a shitty gig;

there's no overtime in my pay. i asked this city for a fucking bonus

and they said no fucking way!"