if i had...

life by marshall mathers

what is life?

life is like a big obstacle

put in front of your optical to slow you down

and every time you think you've gotten past it

it's gonna come back around and tackle you to the damn ground

what are friends?

friends are people that you think are your friends

but they're really your enemies

with secret identities

and disguises

to hide their true colors

so just when you think you're close enough to be brothers

they wanna come back and cut your throat when you ain't lookin'

what is money?

money is what makes a man act funny

money is the root of all evil

money'll make them same friends come back around

swearing that they was always down

what is life?

i'm tired of life

i'm tired of backstabbing ass snakes with friendly grins

i'm tired of committing so many sins

tired of always giving in when this bottle of henny wins

tired of never having any ends

tired of having skinny friends hooked on crack and mini-thins

i'm tired of this dj playing your shit when he spins

tired of not having a deal

tired of having to deal with the bullshit without grabbing the steel

tired of drowning in my sorrow

tired of having to borrow a dollar for gas to start my monte carlo

i'm tired of motherfuckers sprayin' shit and dartin' off

i'm tired of jobs startin' off at five fifty an hour

then this boss wonders why i'm smartin' off

i'm tired of being fired every time i fart and cough

tired of having to work as a gas station clerk

for this jerk breathing down my neck driving me berserk

i'm tired of using plastic silverware

tired of workin' at builder's square

tired of not being a millionaire

but if i had a million dollars

i'd buy a damn brewery

and turn the planet into alcoholics

if i had a magic wand

i'd make the world suck my dick

without a condom on

while i'm on the john

if i had a million bucks

it wouldn't be enough

because i'd still be out

robbing armored trucks

if i had one wish

i would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss

i'm tired of being white trash

broke and always poor

tired of taking pop bottles back to the party store

i'm tired of not having a phone

tired of not having a home to have one in if i did have it on

tired of not driving a bm

tired of not working at gm

tired of wanting to be him

tired of not sleeping without a tylenol pm

tired of not performing in a packed coliseum

tired of not being on tour

tired of fucking the same blonde whore after work

in the back of a contour

i'm tired of faking knots with a stack of ones

having a lack of funds and resorting back to guns

tired of being stared at

i'm tired of wearing the same damn nike air hat

tired of stepping in clubs wearing the same pair of lugz

tired of people saying they're tired of hearing me rap about drugs

tired of other rappers who ain't bringin' half the skill as me

saying they wasn't feeling me on nobody's as ill as me"