unnecessary pain

i still picture your affection

i still hear you like we're talkin' on the phone

i still feel it

like you're right there holdin' on to me

but words cannot explain

we will never be us again

everything has changed

or is that just you givin' up again?

more unnecessary pain

i would ask how we ended up here

but i drove

and you allowed me

or maybe it's only me that remembers it

cause you're so easily told about me

but not once while we were on that road did you doubt me

played your position

writin' out our books

i noticed a page missin'

blame it on the age difference

i see you in the club

now days you're resistant

you used to get excited just to never pay admission

lookin' for the old you

wishin' shit was normal

tried to mold you and you ended up with it on you

live around the corner

yeah we ain't even formal

so i'm askin' god

why you alive and i gotta mourn you

word

i see you got a little crew now

a bunch of ugly broke bitches i know better than

and i ain't tryna say them hoes usin' you

well actually who would i be kiddin'? yes i am

i see your life from far and something's off with it

it's my fault and shit

i shoulda never altered it

i sold a dream when you couldn't have known the cost of it

knew my love came with a pain and i still offered it

seein' your weight loss

knowin' i'm the cause of it

if that ain't my signature

then shit

somebody forgin' it

but you think i ain't hurt

like it ain't no guilt in me

like it ain't killin' me

i'm out here on a killin' spree

a sickness

i ain't found a way to nurse it yet

like i ain't a nervous wreck

like it's no reverse effect

internal bleedin' and the cuts run deep

every time i leave one love

a loved one leaves

i wish i could take the pain away

but only yours

i'll be fine if i remain this way

see i deserve whatever punishment i get

you could sentence me to years

of hearin' my vic's voice even when nothin' is there

i still picture your affection

i still hear you like we're talkin' on the phone

still feel it

like you're right there holdin' on to me

but words cannot explain

we will never be us again

everything has changed

or is that just you givin' up again?

more unnecessary pain

i done gone so long not givin' a fuck

that it's no longer erratic

now it's a normal habit

even when i go my way

i gotta have it

bury me with my sweats on and bitches in the casket

all the waiters and words

i let 'em loom on

every verse real enough to write it on my tombstone

and so you know how real that paranoia be

even make me think my demise is avoidin' me

the sick part is i withstand that abuse

long as the fans are amused

am i a man or a muse?

never sugarcoat it when i hand it to the youth

fell from all over the world

and always landed in the booth

i hold music in such a high regard that

to this day i still feel like it's destiny

and to these fans that i once gave my life for

i gotta tell you that it's not much left in me

yeah

and not that it's growin' old

but years of bearin' my soul is takin' it's toll

took a father from his son

but is it best that way?

i'm so fucked up inside i can't regret that trey

hold my head up high at the gates after my time's up

they say you saved somebody's life by givin' mine up

wouldn't be the first time that i went without

chased my true love so much that i resent it now

you can put this in the scriptures like it's sacred

to live with it

but hate it is to giveth then to take it

goin' through the motions

it'll strip a nigga naked

i guess it's for a cause if all the kids are gonna play it

trust me

i ain't been the same yet

you'll stop and stare any time you see a trainwreck

and i'll take whatever punishment they give

you can sentence me to years

of hearin' that fan's voice even when nothin' is there

i still picture your affection

i still hear you like we're talkin' on the phone

still feel it

like you're right there holdin' on to me

but words cannot explain

we will never be us again

everything has changed

or is that just you givin' up again?

more unnecessary pain

still learnin' to live with

people coming in and out my life

the ones who matter show it over time

that's why they always stay on my mind

so i live in reality

nobody else matters to me but you

you

you

why try to hide the truth?

i still picture your affection

i still hear you like we're talkin' on the phone

still feel it

like you're right there holdin' on to me

but words cannot explain

we will never be us again

everything has changed

or is that just you givin' up again?

more unnecessary pain

i'm tried of feeling this

i gotta live with this