Kill a Kitten

When the game of life makes you feel like quitting

It helps a lot if you kill a kitten

Mark my words

'cuz from where I'm sitting

You can't go wrong if you kill a kitten

There's no crime that you'll be committing

I know the law

you can kill a kitten

And if you need yarn for that scarf you're knitting

You get plenty when you kill a kitten

Feed it turpentine

Or break its spine

Crush him with your shoe

As long as you kill a kitten

If the one you love isn't quite as smitten

She'll like you better when you kill a kitten

And I quote the bible

'cuz that's where it's written

“If thee loving Jesus he must kill a kitten”

Flush him down the can

Hit him with your fan

Drown him in a lake

Bake a kitty cake

Throw him at a train

Make him snort cocaine

Stick some TNT

Up his cat booty

Do what you must do

As long as you kill a kitten

Killing kittens isn't easy

And if the thought makes you feel queasy

Grab a pitchfork from the shed

And kill a puppy dog instead

Kill a kitten

You gotta kill a kitten

A little furry kitten

A little furry kitten

Kill a kitten

Kill a kitten

You gotta kill a kitten

You gotta kill a ki-i-i-i-i-whoa-oh-oh

Meow…