king of suede

there's a sale on our gabardine suits today

they're all thirty percent off from yesterday

there's fortrel polyester

leather

wool

and tweed

just a visa or mastercard is all you need

we got every color

we got ev'ry shade

we're located next door to willy's fun arcade

we got every fabric that was ever made

but i'm known in this city as the king of suede

we got portly and regular and extra-long

we got tailors to fix it if it comes out wrong

we got all kinds of sweatshirts

you can take your pick

with the collars ripped off

like in that flashdance flick

our prices are low

my staff is underpaid

you can buy off the rack or have it custom-made

and it's all guaranteed to never shrink or fade

'cause of my reputation as the king of suede

if you need a tuxedo for your junior prom

we can get you the best one that's made in taiwan

we got jackets with patches on the elbows

too

and we'll sell 'em all factory-direct to you

well

i never made it past the second grade

it took all of my life for me to learn this trade

but my friends are all thinking that i've got it made

'cause i'm known the world over as the king of suede

there's a two-for-one sale on our three-piece suits

check out our suede pajamas and our suede-covered boots

you can try on our suede underwear if you choose

do what you want

but don't step on my blue suede shoes

king of suede

don't miss out on our giant liquidation sale

look for our color catalog in next week's mail

there's a sale on our double-knit slacks today

it's the same old sale as yesterday

thirty years in the same location i have stayed

there i am

right next door to willy's fun arcade

i got tough competition

but i'm not afraid

'cause it's my destiny to be the king of suede

king of suede

king of suede

king of suede

i'll always be king of suede

i'll always be king of suede