lame claim to fame

one time i was in the checkout line

behind steven seagal

once i'm pretty sure mr. jonah hill

was in the very next bathroom stall

my best friend's brother

well

he was an extra in wayne's world 2

my neighbour's baby sitter

dated three of the guys in motley crue

i swear jack nicholson

looked right at me at a laker's game

i got a lame

lame claim to fame

check it out

i bought a second hand toaster

from a guy who says he knows brad pitt

i got me an email from the prince of nigeria

well

he sure sounded legit

my sister used to take piano lessons

from the second cousin of ralph nader

last year i threw up in an elevator

next to christian slater

well guess what

my birthday and kim kardashian's

are exactly the same

once at a party

my dentist accidentally

sneezed on russell crowe

i posted first in the comments

on a youtube video

i tried to sit by steve buscemi

but he told me this seat's taken

i know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy

who know a guy who knows a guy who know kevin bacon

i had a car that used to belong

to cuba gooding jr.'s uncle

a friend of mine in high school

had jury duty with art garfunkel

one time i was staying in the same hotel

as zooey deschanel

i used the same napkin dispenser

as steve carell at a taco bell

i don't mean to brag but

paul giamatti's plumber knows me by name

ow

let's get lame boys