liars' bar

well sitting in a bar alone

where no-one knows your name

is like laying in a graveyard

wide awake

you're scared that if you cough or yawn

you might wake up the dead

so pretend to read a paper

or just drink instead

i'm a stand-up comedian

but i'd sit down if i could

the world just seems

to want folk like me to stand

and the punch-lines seem to disappear

like clouds across the sky

and the laughter could be real

or could be canned

rum by the kettle drum

whisky by the jar

at liar's bar

well living with a lying man

could never really hurt

but living with a drunk

well no-one deserves

and you're looking for your husband

you're not sure he's still alive

don't bother with the cemetery

he'll be down at liar's dive

i'm a travelling businessman

i just stopped in for one drink

you'll find

that i'm not like the other men

their noses are red

whilst mine is only pink

and they didn't choose their drink

their drink chose them

rum by the kettle drum

whisky by the jar

at liar's bar

and the grave-digger's smiling

at his reflection in his spade

he's visiting the seediest

the shallowest of graves

the vocal chords of elephants

and the characters of mice

they're singing whisky