what you're saying is everything i wish i could. but the thoughts get lost
and i think i'm lost for good. i'm learning to paint small
but i have to be still. and that one shines
but still. there i go again painting with my ideas
a little strokes
a little tears. i can't stop these shaky hands from mixing everything up
and i wander
but what's really being lost enough?
not all who wonder are lost in thought
not all who give live all they've got. like a thousand suns bursting at once
are only a spark of the mightiest one. but that doesn't stop the planets from spinning month after heavy month. into years that i forget memories and friends. years i get to live lucky and try to mend. crossing over back again
over and back again. with every line
trying to dig in crossing over and back again. i am become the destroyer of worlds
and when the bomb drops
my heart drops too. and doubt sets in
please hope begin
make a way
make it calm for everything that flies inside. the sky? this is it? but everyone can see this. no one owns it but we all do until we're all satisfied. shaky knees
shaky thoughts
shaky near the business end
where i see it all get lost. the things i made become the things i've forgot. this is what you wanted me to build
or that's what i thought. in battle
in the forest
at the top in the mountains. on the dark great sea
in the midst of javelins and arrows. in sleep
in confusion
in the depths of shame. the good that we've done before