never coming home (song for the guilty)

the trains roll by my porch

down here where nothing can live

i've been smoking too much because i am no exception

you knew that already

i think

if you want salvation

then you ought to go see a priest

because forgiveness from those that we hurt in this world

never was guaranteed

i'm coming home

it's late again

i'm high as i've ever been

you're sitting up

you're in our bed crying for a ghost again

no room could be as dark or as empty as ours is

because i'm at home but i'm not here

and i never am

i wonder how many

friends roll past my house in the night?

in boxcars they sleep with hearts stashed in their backpacks

they'll make california all right

a promise from me

is just a lie i ain't told yet

so i'm ready to die

but i'm not willing to watch

you watch me die here in our bed

i'm lying down

i've been nodding out since i don't know when

the lights are on

you're standing up screaming at a ghost again

darling

i'm home

hell i ain't left this house of ours in days

but i'm not here. i never am

so i just can't stay

my darlin'

i'm never comin' back from where i'm going

my darlin'

i'm never comin' home

my darlin'

i'm never comin' back from where i'm going

my darlin'

i'm never comin' home

never comin' home again