online

i work down at the pizza pit

and i drive an old hyundai

i still live with my mom and dad

i'm 5'3 and overweight

i'm a sci-fi fanatic

mild asthmatic

never been to 2nd base

but there's a whole another me

that you need to see

go check out myspace

'cause online i'm out in hollywood

i'm 6'5 and i look damn good

i drive a maserati

i'm a black belt in karate

and i love a good glass of wine

it turns girls on that i'm mysterious

i tell 'em i don't want nothing serious

'cause even on a slow day i can have a three way

chat with two women at one time

i'm so much cooler online

so much cooler online

i get home

i kiss my mom

and she fixes me a snack

i head down to my basement bedroom

and fire up my mac

in real life the only time i

ever even been to l.a. was when i got the chance with the marching band

to play tuba in the rose parade. online i live in malibu

i posed for calvin klein

i've been in gq

i'm single and i'm rich

and i got a set of six pack abs that'll blow your mind

it turns girls on that i'm mysterious

i tell 'em i don't want nothing serious

'cause even on a slow day i can have a three way

chat with two women at one time

i'm so much cooler online

yeah i'm cooler online

when you got my kinda stats

it's hard to get a date

let alone a real girlfriend

but i grow another foot

and i lose a bunch of weight every time i log in

online i'm out in hollywood

i'm 6'5 and i look damn good

even on a slow day

i can have a three way

chat with two women at one time

i'm so much cooler online

yeah i'm cooler online

i'm so much cooler online

yeah i'm cooler online