i'm probably the most typical caged bird in the world
in cranham or hounslow i sit on my perch
old mother nature's left me right in the lurch
this is my routine: first i ponder and peck
i look in the mirror and i shit on the deck
i think of something creative instead
i ruffle my feathers and have a good scratch
spend at least half an hour trying to undo my catch
not as though i want to be deleted by an owl
i've got to fight this awful situation somehow
how the ruddy hell does she expect me to speak
with half a ton of cuttlefish stuck in my beak?
i appreciate the difficulties of owning a pet
it's like russian roulette
i was bred for the purpose and i shouldn't complain
i know you'll forgive me when i sing this refrain
every christmas they try and get me plastered
i'm probably the most typical caged bird in the world
in cranham or hounslow i sit on my perch
old mother nature's left me right in the lurch