this one goes out to all the cuties in the quad
walking kitty corner with the itty bitty bod
telescopin out the window
i stalk the fox box to the party on lock
security check soon my ids inspected
in the elevator waiting to get wrecked
open the door then get floored by the heat
you get passed a jay while they play pauls boutique
get a plasstic cup and ice unless you like it neat
on the middle east for sheeza
high plains drifter this sorority sister
let the belt loop lead you to the liquor elixirs
smellin better than a bubble gum scratch and sniff sticker
then duck out even quicker
makin friends on dantooine
soon i'm climbing up a tree
beers clinging to my teeth
hittin on the honeys at the vending machine
hittin on the honeys at the vending machine
plaid pajama bottoms or a plaid pleated skirts
everything you girl's wear makes me stare at the dirt
if i had balls i'd flirt with y'all in study hall
do the geek talk till your eyes roll back into your skull
when you're walking my way with my pockets i play
i can't say what's your name
dostoyevsky doesn't impress me
what you think of that shit?
but i don't i just twitch and i itch in my pants
play my gameboy advance until she's finally walked past
a mad dash to my crib where i get on my blog
in search of spock dot com check it out if you want
that's the steam blowin scene where i reign supreme
webster's my friendster i run the message board for ween
it's a mental mall for teens
but in a way it's like a curse
faster than a google search
i just sit here and drink beer while my roommate flirts
with some hottie who's all into fred durst
just get on the web and start bitchin and frontin
a dot com curmudgeon who's love life is sufferin
it's the rope or the oven or the hope i find love in the end
i am lab rat that is a sad fact
dorm life blows if you've got no place to go
i call my mother everyday
i am lab rat that is a sad fact
dorm life blows if you've got no place to go
i call my mother everyday