rip taylor is god

hey! da dee dada dee da da

this is rip taylor

hey there sprinkle genies!

haha!

did you know that midgets make up a small percentage of the population?

hah!

not half

up to here

haha hey!

woo

but seriously

don't you think it's time we had a female president?

with big gazooms? tatee tattoo tees?

tatta ta too tatas?

baba bing bangs?

big jugs

get it?

hello dolly

is this microphone on? hello? anybody out there can they hear me?

somebody call my agent

my hair is lifting!

please

what am i doing here?

you're probably saying to yourself

why the hell would a comedic virtuoso like