rub some bacon on it

:]

i nailed my finger to a birdhouse accidentally

bacon?

i have bacon left over from dinner last night

what?

that's all there is to it?

]

what if i dropped my phone?

or encounter my clone?

i get mononucleosis

my nude pics get posted

rub some bacon on it!

yeah!

]

my home gets foreclosed

my cat explodes

i wake up in a trunk

my friend goes steampunk

i meet real pirates

there's an awkward silence

i say something unintentionally racist

i'm an adult with braces

i can't swim

i'm visited by mr. timn

]

what if i feed the troll?

i'm attacked by a narwhal

the apocalypse started

i think i might have sharted