there's a rubber band that plays tunes out of tune
in the library garden sunday afternoon
while a little chappie waves a golden wand
in 1910 i was so handsome and so strong
my moustache was stiffly waxed and one foot long
and i loved a girl while you played teatime tunes
you're playing my tunes out of tune
won't you play a haunting theme again to me
while i eat my scones and drink my cup
the sun is warm but it's a lonely afternoon
how i wish that i could join your rubber band
we could play in lively parks throughout the land
and one sunday afternoon i'd find my love
in '14-'18 war i went to sea
thought my sunday love was waiting home for me
and now she's married to the leader of the band
oh sob: i hope you break your baton