rugbuggery

hello

it's dan bull

some of you know this already but a while ago i was diagnosed with quite a severe allergy to broccoli

but uh

quite a bit of time has passed since then and i might have developed an immunity

let's find out

that's all right

they call me douglby

i tackle issues like ruggleby

a blend of gentlemanliness and thuggery

i'll glass you

with some very expensive bubbly

bloody luxury

bone cutlery protrudes from your wounds

buggery

ooh

a scrummage

lovely jubbly

a useful excuse to induce you to cuddle me

the two teams squeeze together quite snugly

rummaging and fumbling with undiscovered subtlety

beneath the scrummaging we're being all couply

i'm roughly as politically correct as little huckleberry finn

using epithets no longer customary

i'll get with your ex then apply for custody

of your little buggers then we'll bugger of to tuscany

i'm in your cufflinks and tux living comfortably

bloody luxury

being you? sucks to be

whether you rap

whether you rock

or whether you roll

i insist that you relinquish all control

we're playing rugby and the ball's your soul

so pass it back to douglby and we'll all go home

rap's raconteur

back on tour

i'll blap a crap reviewer

sacre bleu

heh

that's one fewer wrongdoer

i'm long due an apology

and i want you to give one to me

if you ever listened to a rapper and it wasn't me

i'll pull off my tracky bottoms and give you a tracheotomy

i'll leave you looking like a child eating broccoli

ticking you off

saying chew your food properly"