school cafeteria - version 1

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let me tell you 'bout the school cafeteria

it's got all the others beat

it sells over four million burgers a year

just think

that's almost two pounds of meat

my ice cream sandwich is lukewarm

but my burrito is much too cold

a school cafeteria is the only place

that sells artificially colored mold

you know a school cafeteria believes in mass production

they buy those lousy soy beans by the keg

i don't like to complain

but in a school cafeteria

you can get a taco and get bubonic plague

today in the school cafeteria

they introduced a brand new malt

it's called boysenberry dysentery

please pass the salt

the tunafish sandwiches'll make you ill

the enchiladas are enough to kill

before you eat

you'd better make out your will

in the school cafeteria today

say

boys and girls

tired of being skinny

eat a school lunch today

all starch and cholesterol

absolutely no protein

remember

fourteen million teenagers can't be wrong

feel your arteries growing hard

as you eat another healthy spoonful of lard

it's no wonder that the food is so gross

the health department is afraid to come close

so everybody better hold your nose

in the school cafeteria today

so listen very closely

all you girls and guys

here's a little message to the wise

you'd better not try the chili surprise

in the school cafeteria today

oh yeah

in the school cafeteria today