septic schizo

at the time of my last pain

i scream

so i can run away

what i see in front of me

is only the reflection of my insanity

throwing me to the present

alone almost is despair

my head throws itself against the wall

making my blood flow free of me

to be born again

it'll be a sad destiny

to seek death when it's inside of myself

i throw up trying to put it out

i try to sleep sitting on the cold ground

reminders from the past

repulsion of the present

fear of the future

septic schizo

stained by blood on the face

i see that my life goes by in front of me

as an old movie

i feel not proud of anything

i've done

i scorn myself with anguish

my nerves are blowing

inside of me my skin burns

i sink my toes on the ground

i wanna quit; but i don't wanna enter another place

i'm marked and wounded

the decaying of my throughts

the rotten smell on my skin

the cold body

thrown and forgotten

i can see the things

but i'm blinded to the world.