sex or weight lifting

Singer:adam sandler

: hey how ya doin'? my name's barry lakin and i'm here with the man on the street

quiz. this weeks's show is a doozy man

it really is. i went around the country

with my tape recorder and i taped different people having sex. i would just sit

outside their bedroom windows without anybody knowin' and i would press record

and these people would wail away on each other man they would really go at it

and i captured it on tape. also i went around the country and i taped people in

weight rooms workin' out man. i would just sit there with my tape recorder

press record

and these people would have themselves a workout man and i got

that on tape. now i'm gonna play these tapes for people on the street and see

if they know the difference between people working out and people havin' sex. sir

what's your name?

hi

how ya doin'? my name's gregory miner. oh terrific. my name's barry lakin. uh huh

and let me tell you what i did man. i went around the country and taped people

having sex

uh huh

i also taped people workin' out in a weight room man. i'm gonna play one of the

two tapes for you right now

ok

you dig? you tell me which of the two they're doin' okay? workin' out or havin'

sex?

yeah i got ya

alright i'm pressing the play button.now. {moans and screams}

what do you think?

well that's people having sex. no they were doing a military press

but.but they. no you're wrong. thank you very much for stopping by. amazing what people will

hear. when the human ear wants to hear sex

it hears sex. hmm. let's move on to

someone else. sir

what's your name?

uh hi my name is ron. ron

what's your last name

quick. ron johnson. alright

that's good enough. my name's barry lakin. nice to meet you barry. terrific. what i'm gonna do now is play a tape for you. and you tell me if

these people are havin' sex. yeah?

see how he says yeah? or working out in a fitness center. uh huh

i'm pressing play.now. {moans and screams}

and what do you think?

uh

that was two gay men having sex. no those were two men doing butterfly curls. sounded like two gay guys having sex. well no sir

you are dead wrong. alright. thanks for stopping by. wow

interesting. two men

on tape

working out

building their pectorial muscles. and this man hears gay sex. which leads me to

the conclusion that this man is either gay himself or not straight. moving

along. and older gentleman. how are ya sir

what's your name?

uh larry bartowski

and larry

how old are you?

i am 62. my name's barry lakin. nice to meet you barry. terrific. larry

i'm gonna play a tape for ya. now you have to tell me if these

two people are having sex or working out. are you ready sir?

i think i'll be able to do this. alright sir. here we go. and play. {moans and screams}

okay sir. what was that? sex or weight lifting?

that was definitely two people having sex. no they were doing leg squats. you're kidding me? they were not having sex?

no sir

you are way off base. i don't believe it. alright i'll play it back for you again sir. and if you get it right this time

you will.be the only one who did. okay so.play. {moans and screams}

okay

here's your second chance. what do you think?

those people were definitely having sex. no wrong again

sir. thanks for playing the game. you're kidding me. they

they. alright sir

i'm moving on

i appreciate it. they were having sex. alright that's in your head. bye bye. well we learned a lot about men today. let's move on to women. how are you?

okay. my name's barry lakin. hi. hi. what's your name?

uh jessica sanders. okay jessica. what i'm gonna do right now is record something

not play

but

record. oh okay. i'm gonna ask you to close your eyes now. and i'm gonna record something. then

i'm gonna play it back to you. and you're gonna have to tell me if these to

people are having sex or working out in a gym. okay. okay

close your eyes. i'm hitting record now. pay no attention to what's going

on. you're unzipping my pants. yeah that's right. keep your eyes closed i'm recording something. oh that feels good. mm-hmm

yeah it feels good here too. alright. okay

i'm gonna slow down or i'm

in trouble. ahh too late i'm gonna blow it here we go

uh! shoot it all over me!

alright. okay let me hit stop. and let me rewind that one. alright now i'm

gonna play it back for you. are these people having sex or are they in a weight

room. here we go. now what do you think?

that was you having sex with me. that's right and thanks for stoppin' by. okay. well

until next time this is

barry lakin sayin all the world is schlach.